friends....

friend...a species still unknown to me...it isn't tht i hvn't had pals over the years...far from it...i hv had quite a circle of friends...but somehow, i hvn't yet considered anyone my "best" friend...best in the sense - someone who i could trust blindly and someone i could share all my secrets and insecurities with...someone i would never want to part with...there are many reasons for this...i don't forget easily...both good and bad deeds...i try my best to repay all my debts...can't let go of a grudge, once i develop it...am too calculating...it's hard for me to change my opinion about someone...my first impression is usually the final too...somehow, i don't want to be associated with my past...i'd rather not meet my friends from school...don't know why, but the mere thought of this makes me feel uncomfortable...similarly, once i get out of college, i don't think meeting my college friends will be a very pleasing experience for me...hv the habit of hurting all those who are close to me in any way...those who stay are the brave ones but why the hell should anyone stand all the tantrums i put up...will harp about making friends but will shoo away neone who tries to be one..but yet, hoping against hope...i sometimes think...thr will be someone who'll befriend me in spite of all my shortcomings...who'll understand me for what i really am...i'm still waiting...Friendship grows in quiet ways,A helpful deed, a thoughtful phrase,An outstretched hand, a touch, a smile,A silent moment shared awhile,Beneath blue skies, thru rainy days,True friendship grows in quite ways.