a ray of hope....or maybe i am hallucinating...

no one knows me here....
n da unknow takes hold of me...
i want to undo da past...
walk towards a new future...
i know.....
i know there is a path ahead.....
but do i want to trod on it?
is it worth it......?
am i what i seem.......
should i be what i seem...
or is it all like that?
dont know if u can figure me out...
dont know if i can turn things around...
i wish i could...
i wish things would...
i wish.....
is this about wishes.......?
or is it reality?
i dont know....


u knw....
i still have to do the explaining...to D
and i will...
its just that i am sure he will not understand...not that hes expected to or anything...but still ya...
but this ones sorted for keeps now...
i had to get it over with before the year began n not let it be someting either one regrets later coz dey r too scared to let go...
n incase D needed the space...which i felt he did...then its all his...balls in his court now...
though i know his egos just to big to even do anything...
which is k with me as long as hes happy...
dont mistake all this as me not liking him...its just that its not working out n i feel at some level its unfair on him to feel obliged to continue dis.... the last year was juss random n someone had to be firm enuff to realise it...
i still dont know if i shoud thank Ds Ausiie frnd or not...i dont believe what he told me...but i also know he wudnt randomly talk...i hate this but its the PAST now....
u know i just realised if D wud read dis ...but noways i dont want him to know about this blog....
newayz enufff about this ya...
got to get my mind off this...
what will be will be...
n ya... i hav to find a place to go tomorrow night for dinner...still no idea!!
n god knows what i want to do..
am just so indecisive at times that it annoys me...
but its me...i know what i dont want...but never know what i want!!!
will post after bday is over....
right now i dono who i miss more ...but i plan to stick to my resolution of staying aloof...
i hope it helps..